Naomi Wolf’s Promiscuities is a must read for all those approaching womanhood. Wolf takes us on a journey through her own adolescence and that of her friends and explores the nature of female desire and how it is represented, or rather misrepresented, in our culture. She looks into history and identifies many of the misconceptions about women’s sexuality left over from the Victorian era.
One chapter that particularly stood out for me was “Cheap or Precious” in which she examines different culture’s representation of female genitalia and sexuality. She looks at the sexual habits of ancient China where women’s genitals were revered and called ‘The Golden Lotus’, ‘The Open Peony Blossom’ and ‘The Golden Cleft’ , and contrasts it with the harsh western names such as cunt, gash, and pussy. She illustrates how these names have been designed to make us feel ashamed of our vaginas. This is something that we are also hoping to address with our site yOni.com.
Wolf explores how girls approach womenhood, and highlights the absence of any rites of passage in our society. She identifies cultures in which the elderly women decide when it it time for a girl to become a woman and separate her from the men for a few days and take her away to pass on their wisdom about birth control and their own sexual experiences and answer any questions she has.
Naomi Wolf talks about our problem with the definition of what is to be a “woman” and concludes that it is not through sex or pregnancy, makeup, or earning money for the first time that a girl becomes a woman but rather when she realises that all the definitions of becoming a woman are flawed and she is going to have to find a way to determine the meaning for herself.
In her conclusion she suggests that when a girl turns 13 the female members of her family and other family friends could take her camping or a similar activity in which she is away from men for a few days. This is an opportunity to pass on their wisdom and answer any questions she has about her approaching woman hood.
I support this idea wholeheartedly and think it should be a part of our social conditioning along with learning to read and write. It is so important to encourage young women not to fear or be ashamed of their sexuality. The media is only one of those responsible for these distorted images of women’s sexuality. We can all play our part in showing our adolescent girls that everything they are feeling, whether it be overwhelming sexual desire, or feelings for a member of their own sex, is all part of the parcel of femaleness, perfectly normal and to be celebrated not hidden.
So, if you are a young woman and Naomi Wolf’s ideas speak to you, why not suggest a trip away to your older and wiser womenfolk and invite them to share their insights about womanhood with you. If for some reason that isn’t possible then seek out a forum where you can ask questions of older women, share experiences and get help to feel the potency and significance of your journey of becoming a woman.
Book review by Salona
For further information on Promiscuities by Naomi Wolf and to buy the book on-line, yOni.com recommends the following book stores as an alternative to Amazon. We prefer not to use Amazon due to their tax avoidance, workers’ rights abuses and huge climate impacts. NB The title and cover differs in different countries
Bookshop.org is an online bookstore with a mission to financially support local, independent bookstores. It operates within the US and Canada. For elsewhere in the world see our further recommendations below.
World of Books (or WoB) is the highest scoring retailer on the Ethical Consumer’s booksellers shopping guide. Ethical Consumer gives the company a score of 14.5. They have an impressive mission and track record as well as the B Corps™ certification only awarded to businesses that meet rigorous standards of care for people and the planet.
Find Promiscuities on the Australian WoB site
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