Mandy Nolan interviews Laura-Doe about her comic cabaret Vaudeville of the Vulva.
First published in the Byron Echo
What was the inspiration for Vaudeville of the Vulva?
It all started with my mum, who wrote to me when I was pregnant to tell me to exercise my pelvic floor. She wanted to help me avoid being the 1 out of every 3 women that suffer from stress incontinence after childbirth. This was before Poise had seen the dollar potential of ‘LBL’ and Whoopi had told everyone that it was ‘normal’. I needed to find a way to remember to exercise so I wrote a catchy little squeeze-along song called Do the Kegel. The Voices of Gaia performed it and women really loved it. Then a Californian woman called Dorrie Lane asked me to sell her Wondrous Puppets on my website. I found myself living with the largest collection of silk and velvet vulvae in the southern hemisphere, and before long they started to talk to me!
Puppetry of the penis gets away with a lot of what it does because it’s not sexual – the show is actually pretty clean. Have you followed the same themes for Vaudeville of the Vulva?
Ok – to set your mind at rest as regards themes– there’s no stretching, squishing or other ingenious manipulation of my vulva in the show. In fact there is no nudity at all. Vaudeville of the Vulva is family entertainment for the sexually mature, or those who’d like to be!
Why do you think Vaginas should be centre stage?
They are pretty central to the propagation of the species, yet many people are terrified of even acknowledging their existence. I think this is a problem. A lot of women’s issues can be traced to a lack of comfort, a feeling of ‘not rightness’ and sometimes, complete disassociation from the central core of their femininity. And on a lighter note, I think vaginas should be centre stage because boys really like them – and so do some girls. And personally I think that those who think they don’t just haven’t had enough exposure.
What has happened to women’s vaginas?
I think we’ve lost touch as it were.
Do you think the Brazilian thing is necessarily negative?
Each to her own I reckon. Personally I find Brazilians hot – but then I’ve always been a sucker for samba! I think it’s disturbing that neatness is so highly valued – whether it’s lawns or pubes – and that people have such a thing about hair, and see removing it as preferable to what is actually natural.
What is the perfect vagina?
One that understands her own unique beauty
Are vaginas funny? I mean, should we be laughing at the business downstairs?
I think we should be laughing at our reluctance to laugh at them or even to discuss them. Laughter helps in breaking down taboos.
Is talking about your vagina shameful?
Sadly for many people it is. According to one research study only 7% of respondents considered the vagina a body part that is freely mentionable. Another reported that 53% of women “felt some discomfort using the word vagina”. For me as a young woman it was certainly acutely embarrassing. I’d never had any practice nor heard anyone else doing it!
What about labioplasty etc? Why do you think women are at war with their twats?
The whole designer vagina thing is a real worry. It’s already pretty sad that we’re bombarded with unattainable images of feminine “beauty” but at least when it comes to bodies and faces we also see the full range of unmanufactured versions around us on a daily basis. It’s a different story when it comes to vulvae. Most women have no idea what a fabulous range of shapes and sizes a ‘normal’ vulva could come in. They think their’s is “wrong” because it doesn’t match up to the classic porn pussy. And to compound the problem – this is also what a lot of guys look for because it is the only imagery that was available for their adolescent sexual fantasizing. Statistically only a small minority of women actually look like that! In my show I was just using one style of vulva puppet until I realized I that I needed to represent the diversity that I am talking about much more clearly. And as far as wars go, I think a war has been waged for a millennium or three against the enormous capacity that women have for pleasure. In the ‘west’ the war has been well and truly won – to the extent that the commonly accepted myth is that men have a higher libido than women. In many countries in Africa and the Middle East, however, the practice of Female Genital Mutilation is widespread. This is where the genitals of young women are partially or completely removed in order to spare her (and her community) from her naturally ‘excessive’ sexual feelings. In my view this is a (war) crime and I am organizing a raffle and committing a portion of the proceeds from Vaudeville of the to help stop the practice of FGM.
What should women do to familiarise themselves with their vaginas and break the mystique?
If you feel a bit estranged from your yummy bits it is a great idea to take some time to get to know one another. Set an intention that is supportive and empowering. Choose a space and time when you won’t be disturbed. Create a mood: candles, bath, oil – things that make you feel relaxed and feminine – and adopt an attitude of wonder and innocence. Forget everything you’ve heard or been told. Explore. Breathe. Find out what she likes. Don’t worry about the mirror unless that’s your thing – use touch and tenderness. If thoughts or ideas come into your head that don’t support your intention, notice what they are but tell them that you will attend to them afterwards. If you like you can take a moment to write them down so you can investigate later any beliefs that may be blocking you. And return your focus to the sensations in your body and enjoy. The other fantastic thing to do is start exercising your pelvic floor on a daily basis. Some experts say that pelvic floor fitness ‘is the most important factor in a woman’s lifelong physical, sexual and emotional health’. I don’t know about that but I certainly believe ‘It’s good for you, it’s fun and it’s a breeze’.
What sort of show should we expect? Is it funny, sad, moving…?
Vaudeville of the Vulva is funny, bordering on hilarious. It’s a comic cabaret featuring the unusually vocal velvet vulvae of the Vulva Underground with music by The Chaps, otherwise known as Andrew Cox on piano and Anando Bharti on bass. People who watched the sneak preview said they left feeling elated, uplifted and inspired. There are plenty of opportunities for a good singalong!
Didn’t they say it all in the Vagina Monologues?
The Vagina Monologues was groundbreaking but I don’t think you’d suggest that people stop painting sunflowers just because Van Gogh did it so beautifully. Respectful, empowering artistic works that depict or talk about feminine genitalia are pretty few and far between. I’m just adding my 10 cents here.
Find out more about Vaudeville of the Vulva
Find out more about Laura-Doe’s availability for comedy, edutainment and speaking engagements.
